The Next Step in the Journey: "Being With What Is"
Oh yes, it is so easy to say those words - just "to be with what is" and yet right now, I find that it is what I am grappling with most - oh the irony of the words "right now" because right now is really the only place we can be at!!! And while I work with my fears around certain areas of my life, particularly with regards to a certain relationship I would like to have in my life, which is currently not how I want it to be, I realise that my lesson in this is "to be with what is". And it's HARD - really hard!!!
And I find that the more I struggle against what is, the less I get of what I want, the more the fear wells up and the more I focus on what I don't want, the more I get of what I don't want!!! Phew! Just typing that makes me feel exhausted - imagine what living it feels like too!! It IS exhausting and I find that, rather than enjoying what is, I am so often living in my head, imaging all sorts of things that probably are not real, assuming all sorts of things that probably won't happen and generally making myself feel plain bloody awful. AARRGGHHHH!!!! And I KNOW all this and yet I find myself back in this space again.......
And through my processing (very beautifully supported by my amazing friend) I am aware that not being with what is, makes me less aware - less aware of the good stuff I do have, less aware of the gifts of understanding more about myself as I process being with what is, less aware of who I am being and who I want to be and most of all, less alive!! I am not really experiencing the steps in the journey and I am not enjoying myself or loving myself but focusing on creating this fear that I might not get what I want - as though I don't deserve it .... This is definitely one of my life lessons, that life is about being ok with myself no matter what is, about savouring the journey and that in the savouring of the journey comes the peace, the calm, the acceptance of what is and in all this the space for what I want to move into....... ahh, Kim listen to these words, they are wise and you need to really get them...
Till next time
With the greatest love